HazzleJoy

December 17th was the day my life changed forever. My dad passed away and I cannot say that I don’t feel a tremendous amount of pain. It has now officially been 2 weeks since and I only feel a certain amount of ease because my dad has been honored beautifully and properly buried. I haven’t written in a long time and I feel that it’s always been the best way for me to express my feelings. There’s no amount of words that can change the way I feel, but at the same time there’re a gazillion words that can bring me some comfort.

This Christmas was the most difficult holiday because my dad was not with us. I woke up in the worst mood and I HAVE NEVER woken up in a bad mood on Christmas Day, ever. And if you know me, I tend to treat “everyday like Christmas” – generally speaking. Basically, I tend to be or try to be a really positive person. One of the worst habits I have is keeping things inside. I can seem really put together on the outside, but deep down I’m torn apart. Balance has always been a struggle and the answer came to me while being with family and friends.

Although, we understand that the circle of life consists of being born and death, once death stares at you in the face it shocks you numb. I’ve learned that my dad’s death strengthened my relationship with everyone I know, whether it be friends and family, or even acquaintances. I cherish everyone I know that much more. My dad’s death changed me and I cannot stress how all the petty things no long matter. We love you dad and we’ll miss you.

 

Tomorrow is the first day of 2015 and the strength, wisdom, and faith I gained has increased tenfold. I thank everyone for being there for me through the most difficult of times and even through the most joyous occasions. Cheers to the future!