Being in a relationship during the transitional phase from late teenager to early adulthood is quite difficult. Those who have gone through the stages to early adulthood probably had it quite different compared to those who were in relationships. Growing independently might be more difficult or more easier, depending on who you’re talking to. There are lessons to be learnt that you cannot learn alone. There are so many things that I’m not sure I could’ve learned some things on my own.
It’s weird because as 2011 nears the end, I can’t help but reflect on the person that I’ve grown to be thus far. I’m always inspired to better myself and being in a relationship with JP has a lot of influence. In the past, I was selfish. I never really understood the underlinings of being “young, wild, and free.” I mean, so even if I were to live that way, growing up doesn’t have to be so bad. Although, many things in the past are still some current flaws, but I’m always bettering myself, slowly but surely. I mean, sure all this knowledge is making me want to go insane, but one of my biggest problems next to procrastination, is laziness. Yeah it’s something we probably all can relate to. I’m always wanting more, but lack there of. It’s a new personal goal that I wouldn’t mind trying to work on with the motivation of a new year up ahead. Everyone says their “new years resolution” and this is the first time I put serious thought into this. Starting a new year, refreshingly, puts a sense of chance. We’ve been socialized to bring the new year with welcome arms. Sure, new or same resolutions, the message doesn’t change.
JP and I aren’t perfect. To emphasize that is either unnecessary or redundant, but it’s the truth. I’m never the type to front or gloat. We’re a real couple who fight, bicker, hate each other at times, but deep down are crazy in love with each other-type-love. It’s a funny and weird relationship, but yet feels so natural, real, and overwhelming in a good way. There’s no doubt in my mind if I’m happy with him.
I guess this post is a mumble jumble of ideas bouncin’ around in my head, but for some reason it’s appropriate. It’s difficult to try and understand my thought process because it literally has ideas boucin’ around. Physically, I have the same effect. It’s difficult to sit still. I always feel like I have ADD at times, but I know I don’t. Always anxious, antsy- ready for the next thing. I guess that’s why I get bored of. I’m always looking for new excitement.
In one of the ways that I have grown, which I’ve learned is how much more positive I have been. Sometimes I still have a pessimistic side and it’s always pointed out. I’m not sure if it’s visible to the public eye or to those who “know” me, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot. In such a more positive way of course. I look at a lot of things differently and situations that I used to easily be flustered by. Now, I find beauty in all things and I learn to think outside of the box about what used to be such a more narrow minded thought process. Things have changed and it’s such a trip. It’s also very difficult to try and put all of these things in one post, when it’s getting so long as is.
If anyone says being in a relationship is easy, they’re lying. Friendship is the a huge part of a relationship. JP’s my best friend and even though we didn’t start of close friends doesn’t mean I don’t consider him my best friend. This past week I learned that if we’re going to be in a relationship, we can’t be living for ourselves. We’re not always going to see eye to eye and it’s both jobs to compromise and meet in the middle. The way we overcome an argument always reflects how will we handle the situation if it were to arise in the future. Sure, it’s inevitable that we will have our differences- those differences include reactions. We can’t change who are as a person and why we see things a certain way, but we can handle the situation differently next time around. Comparing to how I used to be in the past and how I handle certain situations is an accomplishment, one that no one would be able to understand. It’s corny, but it’s the truth.
Signing off at 2am.
ps. Hopefully will be blogging more soon. (: