As I stood in the shower, crying, thinking about all the difficult things to emotionally handle today, I realized that I needed to cleanse away all the negative feelings I was feeling at that exact moment. More importantly, it was nice that I realized that what I needed to do was keep positive and not break down. It’s completely in my nature to go about myself showing the world I’m fine, when deep down I’m not. Ever realize the story behind everyone’s lives? On a daily basis, we pass strangers by and never took the time to ask, “How is your day going?” Everyone has a story of their own most definitely.
What started out a “normal school day” turned into a stomach-knotting anxiety attack, mainly because it had to do with bad news. My 2-year-old niece is currently in the ICU for severe case of pneumonia and she is already suffering from a health condition. I believe she has an enlarged liver and these past couple weeks have been rough on her because I know that she’s been in and out of the hospital. Earlier today I received texts from my mom and cousin telling me she’s been rushed to the hospital. Her lungs were collapsing. How in the world do you take information like that lightly especially when it’s your family? Given, I’m not very close to my little niece, due mainly to distance. They live deep in the valley (where I’m from) and with different schedules and no car, you get the picture. She doesn’t even know me really. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love her.
Fast forward some hours later and I’m driving with my boyfriend to pick up my dad to take him to the ER. He’s been in and out of the hospital these past couple years? Yep, I’m sure it’s been a couple years already. He has diabetes and his sugar bounces and he’s always having crazy fevers. We’ve seen him during moments we had to contact the ambulance. It’s probably all been said and done, but it hurts most knowing that reality is kicking in. He’s getting older and older and weaker and weaker. I love my dad and it hurts to see him the way he is. I told him to get well real soon because his birthday is on Sunday and he wants to watch a movie and eat dinner.
As I listen to the playlist on my tumblr, “Good Life” by OneRepublic, I can’t help but feel like I’m so blessed to live the life I live. I wanted to take the shower’s waters to cleanse away all the negative feelings I have and clear my head. It made me feel better knowing that I just need to keep faith and keep on praying. Keep moving, keep living this life. Do with what I can now.
So often people carelessly and overlook the statement, “Don’t take things for granted,” – or people for that matter. My heart carries no hate at this day and age. No time for it.
ps. Infinite thanks to friends and family sending kind words and prayers for my dad and for my niece. We all will continue to pray and hope that things will turn up.