How NOT to approach a girl at the Club

As summer quickly comes to an end, I can’t help but look back at some funny and memorable things that have happened.

A night after Heat Lounge- Sex & City Style
GNO @ Heat Lounge
@ Cantina Lounge
Another Night @ Cantina Lounge
A night @ Geisha House OC
Left to right: Jena, Jackie, Joanna, and me.

Last week was a fun-filled week, most definitely. Going out that much has made me wonder how people do it every single week, sometimes even 3 times a week. I used to back when I was 18-20, but now I feel like I can’t exactly hang like I used to. I can’t deny that I’m the type of person who likes to have a good time no matter who I’m with. I’m starting to remember why I used to go out a lot back then because I liked to get a good work out in by dancing to my favorite songs. I’ve gotten used to wearing heels too, which I’m proud of because I prefer to wear ’em because I’m so short (4’10”). Finding the comfy heels are key!

Going out has given me a lot of stories to blog about, but mostly regarding the stupidest ways guys approach girls. Sometimes you see things you think you’d only see in the movies.

The most annoying thing is getting approached by drunk dudes at the club. They get so belligerently drunk that they have no shame. There’s no funnier way than actually listing the type of situations I’ve been in, so enjoy getting a laugh out of them (which by the way these events are in no particular order).

The Cheesy Approach
Standing outside in a group, a man approached us, “Hello, there are 4 of you ladies and me and 3 of my homies, I say we go hit the dance floor and have a good time.” Or something along those lines. Gentlemen about it, so I wasn’t bugged. My cousin’s response was hilar though, “Sorry we’re all taken, but I don’t mean to be a bitch about it. And I’m not lying either, I’m not just saying because it’s true.” And then my homegirl’s response, “I’m tired and it’s too hot inside.” Some may argue, “Why are you out if you have a boyfriend?” Well first off, I’m not out to find other dudes, I’m out to enjoy company with good people. Another response from arrogant dudes, “I have a girlfriend too, it’s not cheating, it’s just dancing.” Yeahh….. riiiiiight.

The Obnoxious Approach
Drunk fellah just staring and starting a random convo with 1 of the girls, all rejected and comes to me saying, “Is it true she’s designated driver?” Me, “Yes.” If a girl doesn’t want to talk to you, get the point already. Then the homegirl’s boyfriend came to the rescue saving us from an awkward conversation with this drunk dude. Throwing your arms on a girl and then being rejected, saying “You’re a bitch. I didn’t want to dance with you anyways”-type-comment only makes you look more of a douche.

The Stalker
You’re minding your own business and somehow you see a man just standing there staring hardcore and is like 5 inches away from you and is in your little “bubble.” He’s looking at you up and down with no subtleness. You leave the area only to find the same man, literally (I’m not even joking, this really happened), standing in front/next to me and my girls for like 15 minutes in silence before actually saying something to my friend and I. It’s so easy to be a bitch when you’re a girl and sometimes you just have to be. I know I just made myself sound like a total egotistic and vain person, but to be a girl, you’d understand. And I must assure you, I am not the type. So 10 minutes later, I turn around and the same dude was right behind me on the dance floor. I couldn’t help but silently scream and run behind my friend. I know comical!

The Silent Tap
No, not that kind of tap, nastys! Again, minding my own and I feel tapping on my arm and shoulder, I turn around thinking it’s a friend of mine, but only to find no one but dudes acting like it wasn’t them. It happened again a couple more times. Wait, how old are we? Last time I checked we weren’t in kindergarden.

Random Bump and Grind from Behind
I honestly don’t even know what the “right” approach is from a dude at the clubs these days are, but every attempt seems to be getting more and more lame.  I personally don’t like it when a dude sneaks up from behind and starts rubbing his junk on my booty (even when I was single). I’m the type to groove to music on my own and if I want to dance with someone I’ll take initiative. Needless to say, I prefer JP over any guy. Unless he’s around, I prefer to dance solo or with my girls. Thank you very much. Also the tug my arm or pull my waist-thing is a no go. Sorry to burst bubbles.

The Awkward Conversation Starter
“Hi, is your hair real? Are your nails real? Are your eyelashes real?” Reaction, WTF. Yes, some dude really asked me these things. Some pick up line. Are you serious?

So these were some examples of things that have happened when going out and I can’t help but laugh when I think about them. I’m sure there are more stories, but these are the ones at the top of my head. If I remember more scenarios I’ll be glad to share with you. What situations have happened to you and how did you handle it? I’m interested in knowing because I think it’s extremely hilarious. But hey, all women are different, some of these things work for them. More power to you if you can endure such ridiculous tactics. 

*Quick note: All quotes may not be word for word. Just know that the conversation went along those lines.

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