Bitter Mood

Annoyed to the max. Irritated and I swear I will start my period soon. I just have no sense of control when it comes to overwhelming emotions. I wish I could tell you how easy it is for me to control them and how at ease I feel at times, but it’s not that easy. I know it’s completely in my nature to switch moods real quick, being that I am a Gemini and I feel like I never know when that button will be pushed.

The thing is, I spent some hours working on this project for my journalism class and it didn’t save properly on my flash drive and I have to start all over. I’m a fan of the simplicity of iMovie on Macs, but I’m not going to lie, the program in unreliable sometimes. More than once have I encountered situations where my projects would not save its most recent edits. I am so over school and wish that the summer were already here. I’m so anxious to graduate and start working. I guess I’ve hit that point in my college career.

There are so many fun, side projects that I wish I can just dedicate my time and effort to because those are things that I am extremely passionate about. Today wasn’t even such a bad day either, but it wasn’t up until later that I started getting irritated about things.

And tell me why, every single time money is the topic of my conversation with my mom, we always end up arguing. Like, it bothers me that she has to bring up stupid things and compare what she has to pay for, etc. Seriously, what’s the point of comparing? I don’t have a job, don’t have a car, don’t have kids to support, and basically I don’t have the same obligations as she does. So why bother bringing up unnecessary points? That’s what pisses me off about some of the conversations we have. Like seriously, there’s so many sarcasm and unnecessary bs that is brought up.

I feel so fed up with a lot of things right now. Ugh, it’s hard being the way that I am sometimes. I can’t just “relax” and that’s the worst thing to tell me, “calm down” or to “relax.” I hate that shit. I’m such in a bitter mood right now that I turned off my phone because I don’t feel like being bothered.

My phone might get cut off soon. Just a heads up because I don’t have the funds to pay for it this month. I don’t even know how I get by these days. Ugh.

Whatever, maybe I should just go to sleep and wake up early to start tomorrow with a fresh start.

Time to pray for guidance.

Hopefully my next post will be a lot more happier and up-beat. But whatever.

….

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